Monday Misfits and Jackasses

Urban Meyer had the week off. But at Conqueringheroes, we didn't. We go far and wide to bring you the latest and greatest of the misfits and jackasses in sports. Today we start with Urban Creyer. His safety had these glowing comments of his coach following his arrest for breaking in to a gated lot to get his girl's car:

In an interview Monday, Joiner said he expected Coach Meyer to be more strict with the team after Saturday's 20-17 loss to Auburn. Joiner hinted that Meyer had grown lax in his discipline with this year's squad.

"Some guys might miss a class here and there and he kind of turns a cheek or, in practice, some guys aren't really as attentive as they should be and he turns a cheek," Joiner said. "He sees things in practice, where, if a guy makes a mistake -- in the past, when he first got here, it was 'If you make this mistake, you're not going to be in' type of deal. He recently kind of was lenient toward that. Now, it's back to like it was."

Back to like it was. You must mean like when he lost back to back games in 2002 at BGSU. Ohh, Mr. Joiner, just wait until Urban loses back to back to back with Kentucky the third of three this weekend.

And, in this episode of Misfits and Jackasses, the Creyer vs. Kentucky takes us to Lexington, KY. the home of good BBQ, good bourbon, and some good basketball.

And, some home cooked preachin, healin, and prophecizin' What? Yes, that's right, you heard me. It may be hard to fathom, but a preacher in Lexinton, Ky, didn't even know Kentucky was a basketball school.

"I had no clue Kentucky was a basketball school. No clue, but God knew. Me being a prophet, he has truly ordered my son's steps I'm a prophet, someone who can prophesize about your future and what's going on in your life. The Lord has shown me: They're going to the Final Four, providing they play together. I have spoken these things into existence. It's not by accident that my son is here and now the Final Four is in Michigan."

Would it help if I told you that Alex Legion's mother didn't know Kentucky was a basketball school. The church draws about 25 regular parishioners, but Legion envisions long lines of people at the door. Legion, who also speaks in tongues and says she has a gift for healing, has high hopes for her son. She said he's been blessed to attend fine schools. She expects him to play in the National Basketball Association, then become a prophet.

This story gets creepier by the month. I'm so stressed I can't have my normal bowel movement. Maybe I need some help from Ms. Legion and the holy ghost.