It's Carl Monday Time

In my perusal of the Pringle's chipcapades, I came across another Penn State masturbation incident. Spencer Ridenhour played Safety for the Nittany Lions. He transferred to UMass. But he took a few cans of Pringles with him to uncork at UMass.

It is obviously time for internet investigative hero, Carl Monday to invade the land of JoPa. Carl Monday is a Cleveland television reporter. He's seems about 1/4 as entertaining as our good friend Bill Bonds. But, Carl is the right man to break this masturbation ring in Happy Valley. Carl is renowned for busting Buckeye Michael Cooper, Cleveland's most famous masturbator:



But Carl Monday, didn't leave it there. He buried Buckeye Michael Cooper:



I see visions of trenchcoats at the Pattee!

Holy Masturbation, Batman

I'll give the Lions $2.00 not to sell that hand lotion:

According to the criminal complaint, a woman said Pringle sat down on top of a desk behind her and asked if she wanted to purchase some hand lotion he was selling for the basketball team.

Seems that Michigan's Larry Harrison is not alone in the dash to the Olympic Medals for athletes masturbating in public. In the footsteps of Larry Harrison, Penn State basketball point guard, Stan "the Penis-Man" Pringle has been busted for following a young lady with his pants down and "hands on" in the Pattee library. Pattee Library. You mean to tell me that Stan the Penis Man Pringle was patting it in the Pattee!

What is even more er' hardening, is that this young lady was also followed into her dorm a couple weeks earlier by the Penis Man Pringle, who managed to uncork his can of chips in a dorm stairway then, too. I feel sorry for this girl. Maybe it's a snack food thing: